20-25 APRIL 2025

The icy Idahoan mountain range devours my focus from out the round airplane window. I try to seem productive on flights — read words & watch laurel leaf worthy images so maybe that means staring to the snow that I assign promises to & that I’m selfish for & fuck I JUST SPILT PUDDING on myself WHILE TYPING THIS that’s what I get for trying to eat & write so pretentiously but isn’t there value in pretension in an aspirational way? Lest we police ambition by way of judgment & dulling imaginations. 

Anyway diary time yes bitch I’m back like the McRib except saucier and have less speckled seeds on my buns. 

*TRANSCRIPTION*

I’m gonna try not to write too much this time around, I’m also gonna write this by hand and see what comes of that. My favorite utensil to write with right now is this pen I got in Southern France. I was acting in a short film out that way and I had to take some notes about the script. We were shooting at a hotel; in between takes I picked up a translucent pen and its gliding ballpoint really did something for me. Not too inky either which is valuable when you’re a lefty & your hand drags across the page. I figured it’d have some elegant French insignia etched into it, but no, just English that reads “Best Western Rewards” & how it was once a plastic bottle but was recycled & transitioned to a plastic bottle. A few days after Trans Visibility day I hiked & got food with my friend Jalen who interrogated me on how I celebrated the holiday & what I’m doing for trans visibility.. I responded with “buying you lunch when we hang out.” We both chortled. She’s a writer too.

I’m on a plane to Oklahoma which I believe is the third diary entry that Oklahoma has been my destination? The desire to describe billows out while you travel so this is what y’all get me in transit. I’m departing from Seattle where I was invited to key a speech & lead a writer’s workshop. I wasn’t sure how long my speech was supposed to be, so like every Native man before me I talked for longer than necessary. The crowd was great, all ages & shapes & colors, like a foam pit of an audience. Is that weird to say? What I’m getting at is that everyone looked spongy & safe to jump on.

After the speech I took some pictures & led a workshop. That was the joint under the thigh for the black & yellows flying high if you know what i mean ayooyoyoyo. I appreciate everyone’s openness & courage. If any of the participants are reading this diary, please lemme know & remember to let your ambition carry us to freedom !! It was awesome to write alongside both babies & elders.

I gotta say Seattle in the spring is one of the most beautiful sceneries I’ve ever bore witness to. All of my free time was spent outside. The flora is gorgeous, the smells were entrancing, the people are tatted & sexy. Really sublime.

The Pacific Northwest holds me close in my most forlornly.

One night I walked to the water & took this photo.

Once I got to the water I watched the sunset while eavesdropping on a FaceTime between two lovers. She wore all white that complimented her pink acrylic nails that clicked the screen every time she navigated on her phone. Both of us were facing the water. It was getting darker but the nearby ferris wheel illuminated us with a myriad of changing colors, functioning as her ring light as she started dialing her boo. He answered with an obscured face while they greeted each other in Chinese. Her posture straightened while showing him her horizon, what she & I saw. The water, the mountain range & the ferris wheel — a carnie creation story. Though his face was still fractured he seemed to smile or maybe I’m projecting her onto him. Romanticize life even if it ain’t yours.

I took the transit back to where I was staying & got hooked up with some Five Guys courtesy of Megan ! On the way there I got recognized on the street a few times which made me feel gushy & nervous. I ate & went pee & went bed.

The next day I found myself smack dab in Pike Place again, this time amidst an anime expo. I was in Vancouver two months ago and there was also an anime expo going on so now I’m convinced that the PNW is on some freaky shit every weekend. I was trying to find this coffee place but end up finding a French cafe. After ordering a small Americano I told the barista about my French Best Western pen & he scoffs “if that pen of yours is so noteworthy then I would have read its words by now.” I ask if he’s free later & he shoos me away. Nah jk I ordered a large Americano. I believe they call Americanos “long blacks” in New Zealand. Afterwards I took an Uber to Daybreak Star Radio Station & did a few cheeky interviews & ate too many Mike & Ikes. 

*END OF TRANSCRIPTION*

Okay I switched back to my laptop, my third & final writing device for this diary. I hope you’re enjoying the interdisciplinary inscriptions of this entry.

I forgot to mention that at this event that I spoke // led a workshop at, I also built my very first skateboard !

Thank you to the good folks at Skate Like a Girl for supplying the vibes & tools to fulfill my skater boy fantasies. As a child I could never ollie.. much too bulbous & scared. In constructing this skateboard I sanded off my fingerprint so I can’t unlock my laptop anymore. In order to build we must accept the erasure our most external securities.

If you stop reading now I understand but keep going sweetie you’re doing so good.

After my time at the radio station I went to get teriyaki at the corner store with Jermaine who is just one of those cats who has lived nine lives to say the least. Once upon a time this man played outside linebacker at the U of Michigan & now treks to Atlanta to make club beats for rappers. I loved a storied gentleman. From there, Travis comes to pick me up & we embark on some real Seattle activities — drinking coffee & record shopping. Well, he got lemonade & I got coffee. which let’s be honest I gotta chill on the caffeine. It’s my only drug vice left standing, which isn’t the worst thing I know but I do feel like it’s eroding my sleep. You’ll be happy to know that, before sitting down to type this out, I relented buying a coffee. Sometimes I’ll wait in a long line just to get to the front & decide I don’t want anything. That happens at least twice a month.

We then went to the studio with Nima & co. to diddle & daddle for some hours. That was fun. Rarely am I in a studio to just vibe – I value when the true focus is sharing each other’s company. Okay i have to leave again to catch another flight, I’ll return to this when I land. 

heyyyyy so several days have gone by since I was able to get this all down. I’m now about to leave Tulsa again en route to Albuquerque for a show (i’m not even on the billing ok) When I die & neurologists preserve my brain to study it, they will poke & prod through such vibrant, poignant memories of me & my oklahomies & oklahomosexuals. I’ll be coming here as long as they’ll have me. Alright y’all be easy. HAPPY SPRING!! Wétu čháŋna iyómakiphi.

FILMS & MUSIC TO CHECK OUT:

“Earthbound” by Absolute Elsewhere.. just found right before posting this entry.. Good GOOOOOD find it comes from an album about the theorization of ancient alien monuments. I guess this is prog rock? I’ve never known what genre that was.

The Before Film Trilogy by Richard Linklater … man oh man did I find these films during such a profound time in my life.